How to Handle Emotions in The Treatment Room

This is the second part to treating aging clients. As I said in the last post, aging clients are going through a lot of emotions because so much is changing in their life, and you have to be able to handle strange emotions that may arise from them. We as estheticians deal with the power of touch, when we touch a person they feel a since of security, comfort, and compassion, which can lead to expressing emotions that we put deep in our subconscious .  Most estheticians who have worked with clients for years will have stories of emotional breakdowns on the treatment bed, or the disclosure of uncomfortable information.  Estheticians are not therapists but are often put in the position of therapists.

Most estheticians get into this field because we love being around people, and we love to make people happy and feel better about themselves. I am the type of person that wants to help people when something is wrong.  At one point in the beginning of my career I was going through some boyfriend problems. I was talking to a coworker about my issues and every time I would make a statement she would quickly say, “you should have done this, and you should have said that.”  It was really frustrating because deep down I just wanted to talk to someone, and that is when I realized that all people really need is someone to listen to them.  When you see a therapist they don’t tell you want to do, they let you talk and guide you to figure it out yourself.   It can be very uncomfortable for us when dealing with emotional clients.

We have all had those clients that never stop talking when they get on the table, and I would always think that I was not doing a good job because they couldn't relax.   A lot of women hold their emotions in and don’t tell even their closest friends what is going on because they don’t want to be judged; therefore they talk to us and that’s OK.  Our job as an esthetician is to care for their skin, help them relax, and proved a place of solace for them.
Guidelines for Working With Emotional Clients

1.  Stay Calm
2.  Don’t try to solve the clients problem
3.  Use good listening skills and offer support when appropriate.
4.  Do not give advice; stay neutral.Most of the time, they just want someone to listen.
5.  Don’t try to be a therapist.
6.  Try to limit the conversation.The best thing you can do is say little and give them an excellent treatment. Direct them to breathe and relax during their treatment.

Milk of Magnesia = Awesome Makeup Primer

O.M.G!!!!!!!!!  Milk of Magnesia is the best makeup primer for oily skin. This is the best DIY skin care trick I have ever used, and that's saying a lot. I saw this the other day and just had to try it for my extremely oily skin that I could not get under control. I had to have a historectomy when I was 29; now that I am about to turn 32 I have started to notice that my skin is going through some crazy changes and one of them being excessive oil, and acne around the chin. If you study face mapping you know that the chin area represents hormonal changes brought on by the androgen hormone.  I have tried all kinds of matte foundations and not much has worked.   I have never been able to use primers because my skin is very reactive. I decided to give this little DIY trick a try, I have used it for a week now.  I was amazed at how well it works. Not only did it dry out my existing pimples, it calmed the redness down, and provided a matte finish to my skin all day.
Here is a list of what Milk of Magnesia is good for.

• Acne and or Very Oily Skin
• Sunburn
• Deodorant ( It really does work. Its a better alternative to aluminum based antiperspirants)
• Seborrheic Dermatitis
• Dipper Rash
• Poison Ivy
• Calms skin that suffers from Rosacea

DON'T USE FLAVORED MILK OF MAGNESIA AND ALWAYS SHAKE UP THE BOTTLE BEFORE USING IT.
Ways to Use It

•  You can use it as just a mask once or twice a week for skin that is combination oily or just to dry up pimples. Just apply on clean skin and leave on for 20 min. It will dry up the excess oil in your Tzone. Rinse off with lukewarm water
• Makeup Primer for Oily Skin-  If you have just an oily Tzone I would recommend you  apply it to that area only because it will dry out the rest of your face. If you have oily skin all over then take a cotton ball and apply a very thin layer to your face and let dry before applying makeup.  You may have to work with it a few times to get the consistency  or combination that is right for you.

As always, do a patch test. Milk of Magnesia is an Alkaline substance so it could over dry your skin, but if you have truly oily skin it won't. If it does start to over dry your skin then use every other day as a primer, or just as a mask.

WHAT!! MY ANTI-AGING PRODUCTS ARE AGING ME FASTER!

How can my anti-aging products be aging me faster? There is a little saying that states, "too much of a good thing can be a bad thing."  Just look at diet cookies; just because they are only a hundred calories does not mean the whole box is a hundred calories, same goes with skin care.

Real Life Scenario:

• Esthetician- So what brings you in today Mary?
• Client- I just turned 35 and my skin is going crazy with acne, I have never had it before! I think I have adult acne.
• Estheticain- Ok. So you have never had a problem with acne before besides your monthly breakouts.  What has changed in your skin care regimen?
• Client- Nothing.
• Esthetician- Ok, so you have not changed anything. What product line do you use?
• Client- I use this product line from the drug store called Aging Eraser (not a real line). I also have a prescription for a retinoid.
• Esthetician-  How long have you been using it?
• Client- 1 Month.

BINGO!  Did you know that the majority of Anti-Aging products on the market today are meant for women 60 and older.  30 year old skin is still producing oil and functioning properly, 60 year old skin does not produce much oil, and their cell life cycle slows down.  Anti-Aging products are ment for skin that does not produce oil.
Once a women hits 35 she start to see cumulative damage to their skin and begin to freak out.  It doesn't help that product companies put at 20 year old on the cover of an ad for aging products (which makes our job a lot easier, NOT)    We as estheticians and the public haven’t quite accepted that too many topical anti-aging products with active ingredients might actually do more damage than improvement. Retinoids, alpha hydroxy acids, peptides and vitamins, to name a few, can all be extremely effective in fighting signs of aging like wrinkles and hyperpigmentation. But when used incorrectly, they can be harmful.
"Using too many products on your skin, especially more than one anti-aging product, tends to irritate the skin which in turn may make aged skin more noticeable. "Applying more than directed can cause clogged pores, a blotchy complexion or other unwanted effects," says New York dermatologist Susan C. Taylor, MD."

WHY DO WE DO THIS?
So why are we all slathering on tons of anti-aging beauty products? Because we are impatient. As consumers we are told to want and expect instant results from active ingredients, but most products and ingredients take time to work. "It’s very important that you allow time for a product to work. While a moisturizer can immediately plump up fine lines, most products take at least six weeks to work and sometimes, it can take up to three months."

If you don't see results from active ingredients after six weeks, or if you believe the product you know and trust has "stopped working," talk to your dermatologist and then and only then should you consider trying a different product. THIS GOES FOR ESTHETICIANS AS WELL!  Do not give your client more products just to make a cheap 10% commission.  Our job is to take care of the client.  The best thing I ever adopted in my practice was taking  before and after pictures.  When we look in the mirror we see everything wrong  with us, we don't focus on the good things, or even the small changes, hell we just want to look 20 again.
Just be beautiful in your own skin, and accept things you can't changes. Products can only do so much, it's up to you take care of your skin inside and out.